enfer super

that I dated one the Top 10 Sexiest Tennis Players in the World. She’s number 7 on the list and while the picture isn’t sexy, she is. 

I had a girlfriend for a little while and it kind of sucked. I should clarify, it ended up sucking. Girlfriends can be pretty cool and the key part of this sentence is CAN BE. At first everything is roses, or a whole bouquet depending on how it starts off. Mine started off like the end of a fucking rainbow but the problem was that it started off at the end. So for all the fun times there were the suckass break ups. For those of you that read this and don’t know what happened I was broken up with stone cold twice by the same girl, and the second break up sucked a t-rex’s jurassic dick. 

Now comes that part after the break up where people (me) are kind of torn as to what to do. She’s still on my mind but i’m trying to do things to get her off my mind because I don’t want her on my mind anymore. Sometimes it’s okay because I think of her naked and that’s fun, but then it sucks because I won’t see her naked again.(Minus those pictures, shit should I delete those?) Basically, it’s a crapshoot. You think of all the fun and happy go lucky times you with her and then realize that shit is over like Duke’s championship run. This is where the fun part comes in. The part where you learn to forget with things that are so fun you actually do forget. 

*I’m not saying to forget about the experience but I am saying you need to get drunk and play Twister with that girl you’ve been meaning to hang out with. 

I decided to let the Internet do the break up work for me and I stumbled upon this gem, for your health.  

Bon weekend. 

Very rarely do we see people in the skate realm who can do next level shit but take the time away from their specialty to embark on more palatial adventures.

EXHIBIT A

Now that’s living. 

So the crew and I (sans Alvin Purple) ventured out to Austin last week for SXSW. Shit was insane. With that much free booze hanging around i’m surprised more people don’t die, but Saturday was the greatest test for mayhem I think SXSW has ever seen. I’ve never been but honestly I don’t see how it could have been crazier than DFA 1979 on Saturday night. We first tried to sneak on the roof to watch and then drop down with our own death from above, but Jon Bones Jovi almost got snagged by security. Roof option ran out of luck quick so we hopped down and bailed on it. 

Then we just hang out in the back alley where the real rager part of the show was going on. There were at least double the crowd outside of the venue over inside the fence, and this is why the fence came down. Yes, they (and Harold) ripped that shit down! 

I’m not going to write about it because everyone already did. 

Bones Jovi, Harold Aldees & I are in quite a bit of that footage and guess what? I couldn’t be happier. Shit was crazy and I wish that Mr. Purple would have been there, he would have been at the helm of the mayhem.

The only mayhem I  was able to document was from one guy with weird make up on his face. He came up our crew after the show as over and asked if we had weed. I said no but we proceeded to talk and these are some of the things that happened to him during the DFA 1979 show:

I got tazed in the balls by a bitch cop, I was more turned on though. Fuckin’ shroom ragers man, but i’m pretty sober now. Bitch ass shit cops. My left nut feels terrible and it’s burnt and my pube hair is singed. I guess that’s what I get for waving my dick at her and licking my middle finger.